I need someone to write an AI phone answerer for the robocallers with the following specs

It answers in Krasnov's voice.

It expresses intense interest in the product or service.

It keeps the robot on the line while constantly trying to get a human by expressing interest but needing specific information.

It agrees to buy anything but the caller must call a different number (at Mar-a-lago) for approval and credit card number or it provides fake or pre-used crypto account details or gift card numbers.

If all else fails and it has gotten a human, it tries to get information from the person while talking about fake common interests or tries to convince them that it is a food delivery service and the credit card given at the time of the order is no good and if they don't pay, the police will stop by to arrest them.

Oh! It must be free.

If the Iranians hacked Patel's email, can we all pray for them to release the juicy ones?

Nothing like another worthless piece of garbage biting the dust.

Uruguay faces dilemma from the deep: what to do with a salvaged Nazi eagle?

My title is a copy of an article title in The Guardian

The eagle was on a WW2 German Battleship.

I have a suggestion for what can be done with it.

Put cheap gold color paint on it.
Award it to Krasnov as "The Nazi Peace Prize"
Uruguay gets the honor; krasnov gets the award he craves; Uruguay is safe for a while from attack.

Another lying email from the VA!

Private Bonespurs wins Battle of San Jeffry Hill. Picture of his followers in body of posting.

In many years in the future, the instructor in Military Honors and Ethics at each of our Military Academies

is going to ask the class "Do you know who General X and Admiral Y were?"

The class will reply in unison (military students always reply in unison) "NO SIR!" (They always reply loudly.)

"They won the Battle of Jeffry Island and lost the Epsteinian War."

And one student will ask "Sir, where are they buried? Arlington? "

"No. In some long-closed Florida golf course, in unmarked graves under a sand trap."

Florida Marine Veteran to Leave US After Long Citizenship Battle

In case you have everything in this day and age, how can you live without this Amazon deal?

Donnie, Ghislaine called. She just heard from Jeffrey. He's dying to have you at his current home with the 72 virgins.

Please hurry!

'Quiet Death': US Sub Sinks Iranian Frigate, First Torpedo Kill Since WWII

The above was the Title of an issue of an email newsletter I receive form military.com. Different types of newsletters cover different issues. There's DoD Insider, Deals and Discounts, Military Report and others.

This issue really disturbed me because of the Title. Yes, the Submarines were always called the "Silent Service" but that's not because the deaths were silent. Those sailors, enemy or not, did not die silently. They died screaming and crying, most probably by drowning, many probably calling to their mothers or their Allah to save them. Deaths in war are not silent. Doesn't matter if you are shot with a bullet, blown up by a shell, hit by a bomb blast or drown as your ship sinks around you and you can't get out. You die in violence.

The submarines may be silent, but the deaths are not. They are never silent, whether they be Americans or any enemy no matter how cruel they individually were, or, more likely, what they believed they were doing was for the right cause and without personal liability for the cruelty of their fellow fighters. Most likely, they were just human beings doing what they believed in, whether it was misguided, wrong or just because they were caught up in the Hell of War.

The article was just factual as most good reporting is. The words "Silent Death" belong to the monster Hegseth who deserves to be tried by a tribunal for war crimes.